The Kingston Upon Thames Pub Guide

Duke of York

2011-03-22T20:30:00.000Z

This pub is so generic, even the bar-lady looked like an amalgamation of 101 expressionless faces merged into one. Just another place gone gastro, so much better competition elsewhere.
The most exciting thing that night was when we thought we were locked in at the end, but it turned out we had to go round the side - yeah proper amazing times man.
I'm with the guy who was at the bar - "Let's go over the road, where it's cheaper".
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Real ale WiFi Outside seating Snacks (nuts on a plate)
Pint of Speckled Hen, J20, plate of nuts: £7.35	Alex - 5.0 Oliver - ?

The Maypole

2011-02-22T20:30:00.020Z

Do you like lager, football and shouting? Do you find your testicles producing an uncontrollable amount of male steroid hormone? If you answered yes to all of those questions, get yourself down to the Maypole!
The only thing you need to bring with you is a wallet and an attitude problem. Our clients often stand directly behind doors, this ensures maximum confrontation with anyone who dares to swing it open in their direction, yay! We do ask that during the game you make strange animalistic noises and drink copious amounts of alcohol.
Notice: Due to chair shortages, you may need to stand crushed against the wall. Hope to see you soon!

Pub facilities / features: Sports screens Real ale Food served Dartboard
Doombar, J20: £5.30	Alex - 4.1 Dave - ? Oliver - ?

The Lamb

2011-02-15T20:30:00.042Z

"A Tent in a Pub!" says the board outside. That just about sums up the place, because I tell you, it is bloody eccentric in here:

I assume the reference to 'tent' refers to all the fabric draped across the ceiling.
By the back door there is a disco ball and a massage chair. The chair needs money to operate and seems counter-productive when you have a full pint in your hand.
There is a big hat in the shape of a cheese wedge. Yes.
A mental cat will jump around on the seats and then bolt out the back-door.

I was angry about the small multi-packet of Doritos we given, although the pub did redeem itself later when they came around with a tray of free pork pie.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Real ale Outside seating
Lemonade x2, amaretto, Holsten Pils: £9.80	Alex - 7.2 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

Fox and Hounds

2011-02-08T20:30:00.024Z

I know some people say drinking is bad for your health, but making a pub into a doctors waiting room is going a bit far. From the tiny carpark, anti-drug posters on every wall, to the magazine rack and seats next to the window. I was half waiting to be called in for an examination.
Thankfully towards the back, they do have a pool table and darts board to detract from that. By the end it had filled up with regulars and due to the lack of seating, found ourselves being stared at for occupying I can only assume, their 'seats'.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Real ale Pool Dartboard Outside seating Car park (two spaces)
J20 x2, Amaretto: £9.10	Alex - 5.6 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

Hotel Bosco

2011-02-01T20:30:00.030Z

This is a hotel masquerading as a trendy bar. With Weatherspoons just next door, it makes me wonder how this place attracts any punters, but then I take a look around - they're making their money from the guests. The type of people who bring their laptops and remain very quiet, even as a group. I guess for those who need to get some late work done it works quite well, as the beautiful barmaids are more than willing to keep serving you drinks at your table throughout the night.
Gets all a bit expensive after the second round (even if you don't tip), so we nipped back next door to the Weatherspoon.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served WiFi
	Alex - 6.6 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

The Coronation Hall

2011-01-25T20:30:00.026Z

Hooray, a decent pub in Surbiton and it's a Weatherspoon so reasonable prices too.
If you've ever played the game Bioshock, this is what it reminds me of. The huge open floor and tall ceiling, the balcony that goes around the top, a bar that almost stretches the length of the pub and a great big arty planetarium thing. There are a good selection of ales and the bar-staff are kind enough to give you a sample of any if you so wish. Comfortable seating areas and sports screens that aren't too obtrusive. Probably the nicest JD Wetherspoon I've been to, beats The Kings Tun any day.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Sports screens Snacks Real ale WiFi
J20, Coke, Pint of Caledonian 80: £5.80	Alex - 8.8 Dave - ? Oliver - ?

The Castle

2011-01-18T20:30:00.021Z

If this is what has happened to old pubs, no wonder it's all gone gastro and trendy bars now. This is everything you'd ever hate from a pub. The only thing traditional about this pub is the building. Which doesn't look like it's had any looking after since the 1980's (which I've heard was it's heyday, until the drug police moved in).
The car park had cars with broken windows, similarly to the front door, we through... into pitch blackness. Okay, where is everyone? Oh we've gone through the side door, why is that even open! We go back out and round and open the other door to find we're the only proper customers there. The other people appear to be friends of the landlord who all look very confused to why there are actual customers in his pub wanting a drink. We order a J20, Jack Daniels and a packet of crisps. There appears to be a rule of thumb here, if it isn't alcohol, it's from a multi-pack. You pay the same price for a 2/3 size packet of crisps or a bottle. They must know people won't ever be coming back.
There was a games room, but that was also in darkness, so we sat with our backs to the stereo which had about 6 songs and kept getting stuck. What a waste of a licence.
One thing which I found very thoughtful was the selling of Chistmas wrapping paper and cards, just what I needed in the middle of January, thanks(!)
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Sports screens Pool table Outside seating (lol) Car park Multi-pack crisps/drinks
J20 (tiny), JD & Coke: £5.40	Alex - 3.5 Andrew - ? Oliver - ?

Brave New World

2011-01-11T20:30:00.029Z

I hate the word 'brave', it conjures up some middle aged woman patronisingly stroking my head after I've had a crap time in my life. I wasn't brave I just got on with it, f' off!!
Anyway... yeah so this pub has a silly name. It's very much a student sports bar/restaurant thing with pool tables, a bar and curtains. One thing I was impressed with were the free sandwiches, I'd missed dinner that day and they filled a brave hole.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Sports screens Food served Real ale Pool table
2x Amaretto, Fosters, J20: £11.00	Alex - 6.9 Andrew - ? Oliver - ?

Saucy Kettle

2010-12-14T21:00:00.028Z

The lack of real beer and a American neon themed bar gives me the impression this is a kind of place the young like to come down on a Friday night to be 'out on the lash'. I have a quite active sense of smell and I found it to have a waft of soft jellied meat going on - couldn't quite place it, but it was a popular cat food brand. One old woman looked after the bar, we ordered drinks, had a look at the jukebox and sat down.
They have loads of sport memorabilia covering the walls in here - signed boxer shorts (not the underwear type), boxing gloves, football shirts, baseball caps. All fake from some dodgy geezer down the market I suspect. Other things to look out for include a worn out TV from the 80's and forgotten Xmas decorations littering the tables and floor.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Sports screens Outside seating Jukebox
Amaretto, coke, J20: £7.25	Alex - 7.0 Dave - ? Oliver - ?

Black Lion

2010-12-14T20:30:00.012Z

Turning up late on a quiz night, standing up crushed against the bar, in the busiest pub in Surbiton probably isn't the best situation to form an opinion. The brief time we were in here it was difficult to judge the place, perhaps we'll try and go back and try again when it's not a quiz night and there aren't any teams of people called Therapists (emphasis was on the R). Until then - no scores!
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Real ale Dartboard Outside seating Quiz night
?	Alex - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

The Antelope

2010-12-07T20:30:00.036Z

A mans pub. The barman was huge, he towered above the bar and raised an eyebrow in contempt when we tried to order anything but a pint. Very much rugby themed, with dozens of faded photos on the wall and TV constantly showing sporting highlights. We sat at the back of the pub on a couch right under a speaker blaring out country music. One of the cool things was an old Pinball machine, but that wasn't enough to keep us from getting annoyed at the stupidly loud music. We ended up going back to O'Neill's for the rest of the evening.
I'd probably not bother coming here again, especially when there's a risk of dying in a fire - the back doors are locked by a dodgy bicycle D-lock.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Sports screens Pinball Outside seating
?	Alex - 5.3 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

Waggon and Horses

2010-11-16T20:30:00.014Z

Although this pub right on the main road, we still got some cold stares through the window as we pulled up into one of the parking spaces outside. Maybe we looked a bit too much like students, and being so close to the university the older generation were trying to keep it their local.
Once inside, we ordered our drinks and leapt over to the quiz machine. It wasn't long before one of the old locals was standing behind us, "I know this one, but I'm not going to tell you what it is, haha", yeah real useful, go finish your pint. Finally he was distracted by a young girl coming through the door and embarrassingly tried to buy her a drink, after that failed he went back to his corner where he belonged.
The place is okay, I like how they've separated the bar and the food areas. It's a bit expensive but I think that is to keep the the uni students out.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Sports Screens Food served Real ale Car park (three spaces)
?	Alex - 7.9 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

El Peyote

2010-10-05T20:30:00.000+01:00

This place hadn't been open very long when we visited, which explains the high prices, but overlooking that I was pleasantly surprised. Again, it's more of a Mexican restaurant rather than a cocktail bar, but the option is still there and they have some comfortable sofas at the front if you just fancy a tipple. I really like the layout, the stone walls gave the place a cool holiday feel and you can't go wrong with a Volkswagen Beetle (unless your Hitler).
The staff were very friendly, we were served drinks at our seats and given a tab.
Later on we were asked our opinion on a poster they had created for a salsa dance class - at first we thought they may have been serious, but who in their right mind would ask us for advice. They probably do the same routine for all their customers as a cheeky way of getting people to turn up.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served (Mediterranean, Mexican) Cocktails Herbie
Coke, orange, Corona: £7.70	Alex - 8.2 Dave - ?

Canbury Arms

2010-09-28T20:30:00.017+01:00

Not sure how we missed this one before, a modern type of pub which focuses more on food than beer. You do get table service here and a tab to put it on, attractive bar staff are a bonus too.
A mixed crowd in here, young couples mostly eating and geriatrics using laptops (something you wouldn't normally see in a pub!). This is somewhere I'd probably go for something to eat rather than have a few drinks though, especially at these prices.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Real ale Outside seating Car park
London pride, J20, lemonade and orange: £9.50	Alex - 7.2 Andrew - ? Oliver - ?

Fairfield Tavern

2010-09-21T21:00:00.000+01:00

After getting away from the horror which was The Bricklayers Arms we ended up here. Not a bad pub, much better more civilised than the one up road that's for sure.
They had a guy playing live on a guitar. He started off with the theme of Rainbow which suddenly turned into some Spanish song, that was a bit odd. Inside had a TV showing UFC and outside had a marquee with a pool table. They also did well on the snacks front - good old Monster Munch.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Sports screens Real ale Pool table Outside seating
Coke, J20, Amaretto and coke: £7.90	Alex - 7.4 Dave - ? Oliver - ?

The Bricklayers Arms

2010-09-21T20:30:00.041+01:00

This is the Official Kingston Pub of Jeremy Kyle Rejects. Members of the Cambridge Estate have meetings here all day, every day. The clientèle include inbreeds, drunks, chavs, hooligans and idiots. Dress code is a shaved head, England top, shorts and white trainers.
You have to try and play along in a place like this, so after walking to the bar like a Liverpudlian with giant testicles we ordered a 'rand of drinks' from the butch lesbian behind the bar (testosterone levels are high in here, even in the women), for some reason she was very adamant that Disaronno isn't Amaretto (and we didn't want to argue). Not feeling very comfortable, we sat down on a table across from the games room and noticed a very drunk old fat man trying to play pool with the wrong end of the cue. This was to be a series of messed up incidents we'd witness in the one round we stayed.
This drunk could hardly stand, he had no teeth and for some reason homed in on us. Coming over with his pickled breath trying to shake our hands and slurring something about the length of Dave's hair before wandering off, getting another pint, coming back and doing the same thing again.
Another family of strange looking inbreeds were sitting at the bar. For some reason the daughters had their hands down their mums jeans pockets throughout the evening - seriously they just sat there with their hands in there, WTF? Later there was a bit of a scuffle outside (since the smoking ban I guess most of this pub drinks outside now), some girl with a black eye was re-enacting something she once saw on Eastenders.
After she left the scene we took our chance to leave, we gathered ourselves up and pushed through the obnoxious comments thrown by the morons as we waded through the pub towards the door. It felt good to be out of there.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Pool table Uneducated proletariats
Coke, J20, Amaretto and coke: £7.15	Alex - 0.3 Dave - ? Oliver - 0.0

The Cardinal

2010-09-11T20:30:00.010+01:00

This is the Bugsly Malone of pubs - almost everyone in here was a student, even the barboy. Quite surprising really as it's far from any campus, just a large building on the corner of a residential road.
Another dog-friendly pub, After wading through the kids and grabbing our drinks, we sat down in the side room, only to be startled by a group of police wading through. They appeared pleasant enough, but I knew they were up to something. As soon as we pulled off in the car, the police were right behind us, lights flashing.
Top tip: if you want to drink and drive, don't go to this pub.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Sport screens Real ale Outside seating Carpark WiFi
Fosters, J20, London Pride, coke: £10.90	Alex - 5.8 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

No.88

2010-08-31T20:30:00.016+01:00

Previously known at the Kingston Tup (which was pretty nondescript), the newly refurbished Bar 88 has gone with a fresher contemporary feel. A few things remain, the bar hasn't moved and there's a huge unsightly hole / fireplace in the wall which must have some kind of dodgy preservation order on it because it doesn't fit with the rest of the decor at all. There's a pool table and a quiz machine at the back and the barman is freaky tall.
A pleasant place, but doesn't really stand out as somewhere I'd keep coming back to.
-Alex

Pub facilities / features: Food served Real ale Pool table
J20, coke, Fosters, Amaretto and cranberry: £8.80	Alex - 6.9 Andrew - ? Dave - ? Oliver - ?

The Willow Tree

2009-02-24T20:00:00.006Z

If you ever receive a text from a mate saying 'Hold your breath when you come in'. It generally isn't a good sign of things to come...
Setting the tone of the area - we were a witness to a gang of hoodies hurrying down the street carrying a plasma TV. Of course, I am in no doubt they were just delivering it for their grandma.
First thing to notice upon reaching the pub is that it had been split into two halves, the other half now being a Korean restaurant. From peering through the small windows of the now elevator sized pub, we could see a Korean man in a puffer-jacket watching TV, two small seating areas and a dark shadowy bar.
Not sure if we were invading someone's living room we attempted to open the latched door, after several seconds of fumbling we managed to get inside only to be confronted with the most unpleasant, disgusting odour known to man. The only way I can describe it is like rotten meat infused with burnt fat.
We walked up the lightless bar and the guy in the puffer-jacket ran round and took our orders. "One Budweiser please" I asked, he stood there, thought for a second, disappeared behind the bar for a few minutes, appeared with the bottle only to go away again looking for a bottle opener. Also, for anyone out there learning Korean, Strongbow is translated as Fosters.
We sat down in the only available seating area with our drinks, the stench making every swig taste like bitter oven shavings.
A few minutes in and old man with his dog turn up. Well greeted by the Korean, he was obviously a regular and had either lost his senses or just his sense. The dog was very friendly with Andrew, a bit too friendly, by the third time it was getting awkward, which was when we decided enough was enough and got the hell out.
-Alex

Oh dear.... that’s what i said to myself is i entered this pub, alone once again as the others were running late (surprised?), and as this place was in the middle of nowhere I thought heading in was better than hanging about outside, this was a mistake! Walked in and the air was thick with some smell which I can only hope was coming from a kitchen shared with the oriental restaurant next door, but this was not pleasing odour, I did all I can to not pull a face. At this point I realised the guy sitting on the sofa watching the match had jumped up and went behind the bar and I also noticed there was no one else in this place, and there was hardly any lighting beyond the bar. For some reason I felt compelled to order a drink while I waited for the others (also didn’t want to walk out to have to walk in again). Realising there was no bottled beers on offer (couldn’t see in the fridges behind the bar it was so dark) I went for a Fosters and sat down. Decided to text the others while the guy sat on the other sofa with the following message "Hold your breath when you come in! I think I'm in someone’s living room". Living room is the only way to describe the decor here. when Alex and Ollie came they instantly knew what i meant form the looks on their faces i knew this was going to be a '1 round pub' so they went to get a drink, placed the usual order but the guy serving still poured a fosters instead of the Strongbow as he disagreed with Alex's order, personally I didn’t mind this as 56 weeks of drinking Strongbow every Tuesday was starting to lose its appeal. After a swift drinking session and one other customer coming in with an overly friendly dog we headed to O’Neil’s instead for the rest of the evening. I wouldn’t come back here if I lived next door to it and they had a 'drink all you can for free' evening!

Unfortunately that concludes the Kingston pubs now, it’s a shame it ended on such a low but onwards to pastures new!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Fosters, Budweiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.90	Unfit for human consumption	0.1	1.0 (Only because I got a Fosters instead of Strongbow)	-10.0

The Norbiton & Dragon

2009-02-17T20:00:00.008Z

We strolled in just before 9pm, and first impressions were very good. The place has been recently refurbished into a very trendy looking pub, with a good selection of ales, a bar menu and wine list to boot.
Due to its popularity we initially squeezed into the corner of the restaurant area, which has to be said, was a bit too warm for comfort. Fortunately we didn't have to wait too long for one of the many comfy sofas to become available.
Seems that many people choose to come here for a drink after work, including the crabby barmaid from The Albert (fair play for bunking off, I know where I'd rather be). Heading towards the end of the night sees a younger crowd before closing at 11:30.
It may not be your traditional English pub, but I'll be coming back here in the future for sure.
-Alex

This pub has a very deceptive look to it, from the outside and the photos its looks like quite a large establishment, and while it not a small place it seem to lack the floor space you would expect from the outside impressions. Again, I arrived a little earlier than the others so decided to head inside for a drink and a snack. When I asked if they had any crisps they said all that they had was prawn crackers, so I asked for a bag of them and then realised there were freshly made, spiced prawn crackers with sweet chilli dip served in a basket. While I was not expecting this it was a nice suprise and I must say very tasty! There was a high level of trade in this evening as it also plays host to a thai restaurant in the back, thankfully I found myself a table to sit and wait but alas this was right on top of a radiator which was on fairly high. Later in the evening after the others had arrive we managed to relocate to some low level couches which were quite comfy and right next to the bar so this made the round ordering less of a chore (you could practically place the order without standing, if you wanted to).
Overall this place seemed to get things just right, good level of atmosphere, interesting snacks and an average price (bear in mind the price below is for 4 drinks, not the regular 3), and the only real downer to this evening was the heating system and the fact it wasn’t open later as if it was we would have defiantly stayed for another round or two.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, glass red wine, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£11.15	Only in a bowl	8.5	8.3	8.0

The Kingston Gate

2009-02-10T20:00:00.008Z

Amazing. No, not the pub, but imagine a carpark so unorganised that it would seem that half the people that drove here were already drunk before they even got to the bar. You'll also need to get a 'parking ticket' from the bar or you'll end up getting 'clamped'.
Inside is huge. Mainly split into three areas - an area for pool, an area for watching sky sports, and a corner for the weekly poker game. We were doing neither of those things, so things got complicated trying to find somewhere to sit. Upon finding a table by the TV we were told by a regular we could get a better seat, this was even after protesting we were not interested in the game. Coming to this pub for just general chitchat is unheard of.
If you're male and you enjoy constant shouts of jubilation from every angle, this is your place.
They also advertise WiFi, which is all lies.
-Alex

The pub had a few things going on this evening, a poker tournament, football on the tv not to mention the other range of entertainments from the dart board, pool table and the ever more popular IT BOX which seems to be appearing in a whole host of pubs around Kingston (we hardly ever play them but I am noticing them more). There is a huge amount of floor space here, could have room for more tables and chairs but the they do use it and this makes for a more social atmosphere yet you don’t have to worry about overhearing the conversations form adjacent tables, a relatively nice balance. Sadly nothing was super amazing and the overhanging possibility of having to make an early move did detract from the evening.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budweiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.85	Walkers and Walkers Max	6.6	6.5	4.0

The Alexandra

2009-02-03T20:00:00.006Z

Perhaps due to the inches of snow and ice that lined the streets this week, there was very little life in the Alexandra. It's quite a contemporary pub fitted with good seating areas, small TV screens and a jukebox that will play a random record once every twenty minutes.
The lady on the bar was very friendly, I think she was happy to see some life in her pub! Prices are also reasonable.
Look out for the "cockdryer" notice in the gents toilets (no, I am not making that up).
-Alex

This week almost didn’t happen due to the inches of snow over the previous few days but we braved it and even had a 4th member of the party with us this week (in fact a 5th turned up just before we left as well, only the 2nd time there have been a group that big, is it us or do people really have better things to do on a Tuesday?) Anyways, not many people in this pub but the meant we could choose a couple of rather large sofa’s to sit for the evening. Quite ironically shortly after mentioning the lack of ambient music, the jukebox sprang to life with a random track, this happened a few times during the night which wasn’t a hassle but probably could have done with a bit of a turn down on the volume as voices had to be raised slightly for the duration of the track. Actually got to the point where it was closing and some of us were saying if only it opened till 12 which has to be a positive note (either that or we were getting a little drunk, shots had an innings this evening).
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, glass red wine, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£11.00	Yes, but all out of scamp fries :(	7.8	7.6	7.0

The Albert

2009-01-20T20:00:00.008Z

If you have to drive here, don't bother. Being opposite the hospital, parking spaces are non existent. The cost of non residential parking usually results in pawning off your own limbs. We decided to keep our body parts intact and walk a half mile down the road.
I must say, once inside, this is a very nice clean pub. It has a nice cosy feel, huge amounts of room and good selection of real ale. They even have special chairs if you ever need to queue for the toilet.
One thing to note is the smell of tobacco smoke and catfood coming from the kitchen (not at the same time). I hate to imagine what was on the menu.
Also, the staff are rather brusque and certainly won't give you service with a smile. In fact, come 11:30 we were rudely told if we 'wouldn't minded leaving'.
Overall The Albert is a lovely pub, just falls short on steep prices and crabby barmaids.
-Alex

I must admit I have passed this pub hundreds of time while heading into and out of Kingston and have always looked inside curious what it was like so I was quite pleased when we reached this part f our mission, and yes, we have now started on the Norbiton area just outside Kingston itself, seems the pubs are running out at an alarming rate!
inside the pub has a warm atmosphere and we found ourselves seated at a sofa in the far corner of the pub just by the kitchen, from here we could only see half the bar as it continued round the corner and to be fair we probably could have found a better seating area but alas this is where we set up base. This is defiantly the sort of place to sit and chat with friends, we were a bit surprised at the prices, so much so than when I got my round in I wasn’t expecting change but thankfully the barmaid came up to where we were sitting to give it to me, my mind must have been elsewhere at the time but it’s good to know there are still honest people out there!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, Feel Good Lemon stuff)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£9.40	Yes	7.6	7.9	5.0

Foresters Arms

2009-01-13T20:00:00.005Z

This was actually the first pub we visited in Hampton wick, but upon the previous visit, our sensitive gag reflexes could not stand the smell of what one can only describe as Captain Birdseye's fingers. We stayed as long as it takes to enter through the front and exit through the side door.
Today thankfully fish must have been off the menu, as for the tonight’s odour was much more bearable, similar to Nicky Clarke's fingers after a day at the salon.
If you hadn't already guessed, it’s a gastropub with traditional bar stools and tables one end, and restaurant based amenities at the other. Unfortunately we ended up in the restaurant surrounded by half a dozen menus, towering candles (which nearly took an eye out) and the usual gritty condiments. Food looked nice though.
Across the ceiling, giant cloth sheets stretched themselves into each corner of the room... only to hide big holes no one bothered to fill in while decorating.
The Foresters Arms is the best Hampton Wick has to offer, but that isn’t saying much looking at the competition. It’s also hotel for £50 a night, but don’t say I didn’t warn you about hidden cavities or strange aromas.
-Alex

I missed the first attempt of heading to this place as I was running late on that evening, which is probably for the best looking at Alex’s post regarding the fishy aroma. After getting our drinks we looked for somewhere to sit that didn’t look like it was part of the restaurant, weirdly the people in the pub part of the venue were eating so when we did find a seat we were in the restaurant area. This didn’t really cause an issue however, apart from the candle in the centre of the table being at eye level making a blinding effect, easily resolved by sliding it to one side but worth mentioning if you go for a meal and the plates are in the way of moving the candle. As the evening went it was another of those uneventful ones I'm afraid, either that or I am writing this so far after visiting that anything that did happen cant have been that great/bad for me to forget it.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budweiser, Pineapple)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.40	Stupidly overpriced	6.7	5.9	6.3

The Old Kings Head

2009-01-06T20:00:00.009Z

Based on Hampton Court Road, isolated from pretty much the rest of Hampton Wick, the location of this pub makes me wonder why or how it still trading. I suppose it could cash in on the students living opposite, but instead The Old Kings Head decides to have less character than a doctors waiting room.
Bear in mind we visited when some temperatures were some of the lowest in 15 years, and were looking forward to settling down in a cosy pub over a cold beer. No such luck, the radiators were about as warm as your grandma's feet after a week of having her heating cut off. Even the barman took the liberty of keeping his coat and scarf firmly wrapped round him.
When it came to ordering there was no Strongbow for Andrew but they did have 2 for 1 on pints of Fosters, something worth celebrating at last...?
Well almost, it was quite short-lived. Even though there was only 4 other people in this sizeable pub they seemed to run out before we had a chance to get the second round. In fact everything on tap seemed to run out and they were even down to their last packet of McCoys crisps.
Perhaps they were doing a badly marketed closing down sale which would explain the lack of décor and heating. One can only hope.
-Alex

This place seemed to lack atmosphere on the evening we visited, upon entering we realised we were one of about 3 groups in the bar, and for a large place, made it look quite empty which was a shame as we were informed about a promotion which was basically buy one get one free on the fosters, something which could be very popular with the student accommodation for the Uni just across the road., it would have been more popular for us had it lasted for more than one round before running dry.
It was a very cold evening and unfortunately there was very little heating (see Alex’s post) and the lack of other bodies in the place did mean a cold draught swept through whenever someone went in or out the door.
Overall I would say this place defiantly has the potential for an alright and cheap night out, but the night we went it was just cold and nothing much else to write about.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Fosters and J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
?	Yeah, if you're lucky	5.8	5.5	4.3

The Railway

2008-12-09T20:00:00.008Z

Things to note while at this pub:

Entertainment includes happy hardcore music, sport and Only Fools and Horses on TV.
Probable sign theft from Hampton Wick station opposite, displayed around the bar.
Drunk punters asking random people their postcode and shouting "Breadbin" for unknown reasons.
One guy in a scarf by himself, shouting very loudly over everyone at the football.
A very large man trying to play darts but only able to do so by leaning on the pool table for support. Same man manages to ride home on a moped.
Everyone, including the barman will disappear and leave the pub every so often.
The resident canine likes Scampi Fries.
No longer under Mafia control.

-Alex

This place is ideally siutated just opposite the station, so was expecting it to have more than a few people in it from passing trade of people coming home from work etc, but alas, when we arrived there were only a handful of people there. Over the course of the evening i cant remember any new people arriving, but most people left before closing, even the bar staff for a short while. TV was showing sport, but then when that finished it was switched to Paramount COmedy which prooved distracting to a point, then only fools an horses came on and that was about the end of conversation for us as all attention was on the tv (or a mobile). Not a bad place, tho could do with more customers to give it a better atmosphere.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budweiser, Orange)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.15	Yes	6.2	6.8	5.0

The Swan

2008-11-25T20:00:00.006Z

We ordered the usual, but it wasn't until we sat down and actually started drinking we noticed these weren't quite the same beverages we were used to. Upon going back for round two and leaning over the bar we noticed the J20 was called something else, a similar printed label, tasted ok, but with an added bonus of scraping sugar off your teeth after every mouthful. The Strongbow was dark and cloudy and certainly wasn't Strongbow. I wouldn't of normally minded, but it would of been nice to be told and pay cheaper brand prices.
Bar staff were ok, two guys. One of which at the end of the night cleaned the table next to us three times in 30mins, no idea why, it's not like we have anything worth eavesdropping on for.
When are these pubs going to learn not to put the jukebox on random? I'm fed up with hearing the likes of Cliff Richard, gangsta hip-hop and Brazilian samba in the space of 20mins. I was thankful when the machine got stuck and they switched the bloody thing off.
Oh and there's free pool on Tuesdays.
-Alex

Admittidly I am writing this about a month after going (after a busy christmas etc and much harrassment from Alex to 'DO THE BLOG!!!!' I thought I had better get it done.
THis place seeme to be pretty good but i think there was something up with the drinks as the next few days i was feeling really ill, after the 2nd drink the barrel ran out on the 3rd round so that may have had something to do with it, i dunno. Must say that after asking the barman to reccomend a shot we had some cherry liqueur thing that was quite nice, one of the saving graces from the evening.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow?, JD & Coke, J2O?)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.15	Yes	6.4	6.0	7.0

The White Hart

2008-11-18T20:00:00.006Z

Although retaining all it's traditional features on the outside, this once pub has now been refurbished into a generic hotel bar.
After ordering a rather expensive round from the bar from a couple of waitresses (who were also busy serving the guests their evening meals), we found a table in the corner next to the window.
It felt a little discomforting to be surrounded by people having their evening tea, reading newspapers and loudly talking on their phones in foreign languages. The only good I can say has any value are the the ales.
By 11pm they were laying out the breakfast plates on the tables ready for tomorrow morning. My guess is that The White Hart is run by hotel owners who have no experience with pubs.
It's got a warm feel, with the log fire and soft furnishings, so you could take a date along here, but not on the first date, that would be stupid.
-Alex

Well, Kingston I believe is done, but the list is not yet through, our source list has a few others on the outskirts which are close enough to test out, and this one is just the other side of the river. Looks like your standard traditional pub form the outside but what a shock when we went in, looks more like a hotel reception than a bar, at one point I thought we had walked in the wrong part. The set up is more for hotel patrons than passers but it’s not exclusively for guests so we found ourselves a table and sat down. Price was a little surprising for its location but this was probably more due to the hotel attached than anything else. Can’t see a reason I would come here socially unless I moved far away from the area and then come back for a visit staying at this hotel.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budweiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£9.10	Yes	6.5	5.7	6.0

The Kings Tun

2008-11-11T20:00:00.010Z

The resident JD Weatherspoon bar is no doubt the largest and most popular drinking venue. We've been putting this one off due to it's impersonal and commercialistic feel.
Over the last few years this place has turned into a haven for the young, loud boozer. Deafening DJ's often play sets on weekends with their sole purpose to make you talk less and therefore drink more. If driving past on a Friday or Saturday night, be sure to keep to the middle or right hand lanes as you undoubtedly be blocked by an ambulance otherwise.
It was pleasant to come on a weekday and see the contrast of getting served straight away and being able to find somewhere to take a pew.
Those who work in a pub should know how to pull a pint, which made it especially strange that staff made us walk from the upstairs bar all the way to the downstairs with no explanation when ordering a round.
Bear in mind this place closes at 12am weekdays, there will be no 'time at the bar' warnings and you'll have literally 5 minutes to drink up and get out.
Other things to note are the jet powered 'air-force' hand-dryers in the WC, they claim to use 50% less energy than regular dryers, this is because no one dares to put their hands under them for any length of time for fear of dislocating both wrists. Towards the end of the day it will be nigh on impossible to find a table that won't smell of food scrapings or not be stickier than a gecko's foot.
The Kings Tun might not be the nicest, but it will certainly be the cheapest place you can buy a pint in Kingston.
-Alex

Really we should have done this one ages ago but we left it till last as we used to go here lots until it changed to a lloys bar then it all went downhill. Personally the whole point of Wetherspoons bars was somewhere to go to get some cheap drinks and catch up with your mates, then move onto a place playing music loud enough to cause permanent damage. Once it went to Lloyds it then took over 20mins to get served while standing under a 200W speaker which is almost one of the reasons this website came into existence, to catch up as our usual Friday hangout meant we were meeting up but couldn’t actually talk. I was pleasantly surprised to find they have now disconnected the upstairs speakers and being a Tuesady it was really empty so service was very fast as well, this is of course until 11 and everyone upstairs is forced to relocate to the ground floor, not great when you have to settle at a new table for the last hour of opening, then all of a sudden as soon as 12 hits you have bouncers saying to drink up now and get out, which is not great when you have just been served and have a full pint to get through, having to neck it in less than 10mins did not help me the next morning, if they want to leave work at 12:15 then stop serving at 11:30! Otherewise defiantly the cheapest round and central location in Kingston work in its favour so they can afford not to worry about the service level as people will always come back. I know I will more for these reasons than any other!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£6.03	Yes	7.3	7.9	8.7

The Wych Elm

2008-11-04T20:00:00.005Z

Upon entering this establishment the first thing to notice was how subdued the air was. Two aged regulars never moved an inch off their stools from when we arrived to when we left.
Perhaps the barman thought we were lost when we stood at the bar waiting to be served, as he continued his undertone conversation with them oblivious.
Over the course of the evening it was hard not to notice previously mentioned barman staring intently at us, this coupled with a loud ticking clock, it was quite unnerving. I don't think he was being rude or defiant, but probably was more out of curiosity. Perhaps like when a westerner goes to visit an Amazon tribe, but instead of race it's an age thing.
The pub itself had a nice traditional feel to it and the only one I've seen so far with a dartboard.
Last weeks ginger cat made an appearance too, which was nice.
-Alex

It seems the last pubs on the list are all in the same area, third week running in this area and a stone’s throw from last week’s pub, this place is defiantly am improvement. The pub is another one for the locals but has a large seating area to make yourself comfortable in and also a garden area. Relatively quiet with only a couple of locals and a smallish group over the other end of the bar we had no issues with getting served. All in all not a bad place, but nothing remarkable about it as well.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budweiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.10	Yes	6.8	6.7	5.5

The Willoughby Arms

2008-10-28T20:00:00.014Z

Promoted as mainly a sports pub this place looks incredibly like the Kelly Arms with it's late 19th century masonry. Once we were inside, first thing to notice were the walls covered with large fearsome hunting trophies - antelopes, foxes, bears and large cats. Also sharing the wall with the animal heads were plenty of awards, curiously none of them issued after 2003.
There is also a separate games room so no one has to endure the oversized sky sports screen if they don't want to.
Now you'd be thinking this sounds the nice traditional sort of pub, and you'd be right if traditional means intoxicated old men in body warmers constantly swearing at staff and customers alike. This one particular guy was ordering a pint with with the intelligence and dialect of an infant, now you'd think he'd be told to go home but no. The bar maid was clueless and didn't batter an eyelid even when being told she was a "f**king c**t". After finishing his pint and rummaging round for 10 minutes in search of his keys he finally left, but not before falling into Andrew on the way out.
Plenty more weirdos came and went, an egotistical yob who entered by shouting "No autograffs!!!" I didn't understand it either. A fat man in tracksuit bottoms who managed to drop his keys down his trouser leg and under our table, I don't want to know where he keeps them.
The landlord spent most of his time at the bar on a laptop making naff posters with clipart, not noticing or caring about a thing.
By the end I felt like the poor ginger cat who sat black-eyed praying to be let out. If we were stupid enough to come back I'll imagine he'll be next on the wall.
-Alex

Another one of those pubs over in ‘East Kingston’, far out of the town center and set up as more of a local pub, and it defiantly gave off that vibe. As I arrived a bit before the others and it was a chilly evening I went in to see what it was like and although large looking form the outside it was quite cramped within, a few small groups and the largest room was darkened for a big screen football game. I would assume that we were the only non-locals and everyone seemed to have a passing familiarity with each other adn the guys giving abuse to the bar staff didn’t seem to provoke any action to stop it and acted as if it was the norm. Interesting decoration of certificate form years gone byand possible some stuffed roadkill (the larger ones possible coming from Richmond park perhaps. Probobly not one to re-visit, even if I lived locally!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.50	Yes	4.6	4.2	5.2

The Wheelwrights Arms

2008-10-14T20:00:00.009+01:00

One of the last remaining independent high street pubs in Kingston, when I came here a few years ago I was greeted with grumpy unwelcoming faces, good to see it's modernised and much more friendly.
Has a fresh feel to the place, sells food, a few different ales and a jukebox that loves to play Michael Jackson even through it's supposedly on random. One word of advice is not to go for the peanuts they taste rotten and will make your breath smell like boiling animal fat over a stove. Oh also don't lean on the radiators they still have cobwebbed fag-ends in them from prior to the smoking ban.
Being positioned in the heart of Kingston it is the perfect place for sitting by the window and people-watching. Tonight we saw Mohican Haired Kid, Moonwalking Cardigan Guy and a street-cleaner coupled with girl in string-vest and blue tracksuit bottoms. We think it was weirdo's night out.
The blinds came down shortly after that and we got the feeling we should leave. Good place, to sit down, chill out with a beer and have a chat (and be nosey).
-Alex

This is one of the places that I have seen many many times in Kingston but never ventured inside to see what its like, usually its rammed or just has a couple of older guys dotted about the place, nevertheless, its next on the list and we were going here tonight. Having been a little early and the other running a little late I decided to head solo to grab a seat and wait for them, found it fairly busy but managed to grab a table by the door so I could see out the window and also watch the TV while I waited, once the others arrived we carried on our usual weekly banter, the drinks seemed to be flowing quite well this evening, I must say it was one of the heavier nights we have had, and they’re a fairly rare occurrence, only a few times have we exceeded the standard ‘3 rounds then home’ routine.Overall quite a quiet place, music piped into the background but the mix that was playing was quite a random one.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.00	McCoys and some mouldy 'Big D' peanuts.	8.3	7.9	7.8

The Spring Grove

2008-10-07T20:00:00.011+01:00

Right behind the University campus, this huge pub is quite a hidden gem.
Two polish female staff provided fast service as soon as we walked in, and although it was slightly more expensive than the average, the pub had a good lively but comfortable feel to it.
A mixture of both young and old frequent here with plenty of comfy couches, seating areas and a garden, modern jukebox, and couple of quiz machines to boot.
I personally wouldn't bother playing Monopoly on the quiz machines. Every time you get to the last question before payout, the machine picks an impossibly hard question then laughs in your face with the most abrupt game over screen ever.
-Alex

I think I mentioned before that I am an ex-student of Kingston uni, and once again I am disappointed that I never explored the local pubs more while I was there, this is defiantly the type of place where you could easily spend an whole afternoon after lectures with a few friends. Thankfully this also applies to today where we enjoyed a chilled out evening on 2 large leather sofas, never had to wait to be served at the bar, the only downside was the IT Box being very stingy on the questions on Video Monopoly. This is defiantly one I would re-visit if I am in this part of Kingston going for a drink.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.50	Yes	8.2	8.4	8.2

The Park Tavern

2008-09-30T20:00:00.005+01:00

Tucked away, The Park Tavern took us 20minutes of driving around to finally find. It is a quaint little place with ornaments scattered all around the inside, including a moose head and dead parrot.
Had a good cosy feel to it like you were in someone's living room - complete with fireplace. Well that was until we sat down on a seat I can only describe as a 'choir bench'. Good for your posture they may be but totally uncomfortable for a relaxing evening of drinking. I've known more comfy bus-stops.
As the football was on it was pretty busy, with a good sized plasma screen on one side of the pub without distracting anyone who wasn't interested in watching. Drinks were a fair price and when asking for a Jack Daniels & coke we got a proper a glass bottle of coca-cola not the stuff from the tap, which we found surprising.
Nice friendly place, as English as it gets!
-Alex

One of the most easterly pubs in Kingston, and quite well hidden this must be one of the ‘real’ locals in Kingston, most other patrons seemed to be really familiar with the place and the other people there/staff. We decided to seat ourselves in the non tv area and after placing our order I found myself behins the other two as they headed for the ‘couch-style’ seats, only to find that they were harder than boulders on a cold day, meanwhile I sat on the wooden char what was actually quite comfy, naturally Alex stole the seat when I got my round in but as his was next I let him have is victory and reclaimed it later, this might sound ‘petty’ but the other seat was really not that nice to sit on.Overall atmosphere of the place was quite pleasant, the bar staff even say bye to us when we were leaving at closing time, I would have no trouble having a drink here again, provided I got a good seat of course.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.55	Yes	7.7	7.2	6.8

The Peel

2008-09-16T20:00:00.009+01:00

By all accounts this public house is named after Robert Peel, who was Prime Minister of the United Kingdom during the late 19th century. All very nice, but now ask yourself - how does that tie in with being a strip club?? That I cannot answer.
The pub has three main areas, games room, live music room (a few bands play on weekends) and the strip club is at the back.
After going through the five-inch thick double doors at the entrance we arrived in the games room. The barman looked like something from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, an old bald guy dressed in a vest and jeans with tattoos all over his arms. I approached and tried to order a round but every time I tried, he'd wander off. It appeared he'd only serve us from the strip club.
After getting the drinks and shuffling back to the games room we played a couple of games of pool, then out of nowhere the old barman started shouting "Don't go behind the bar!!!". It was aimed at some other young guys who were the other side of the games room. We were all looking a bit confused, as no one had or even could of been near there.
Inside the strip club itself the lighting is quite dim, with two poles on centre stage. I didn't bear thinking about what I was sitting on, none of the stools looked particularly healthy. There was a strange musty smell too, perhaps it was decades of smoking clinging to the walls. Scattered about the place there were three old men who were probably regulars and lived alone. There were two alternating dancers who were somewhat attractive. Unfortunately Oliver forgot his glasses so didn't get to see anything!
-Alex

Now, after going out in Kingston for many many years I was quite surprised to find that there was a local strip bar, not that I would go out looking for one, but you usually hear about the locations of them when you are such a local to the area. The venue is also home to a live music venue which is active on a number of nights of the week, unfortunately this was not one of those nights. We started out in the bar area which is quite a small area with a pool table, after a while we realised that the barman was reluctant to serve us in this room and we then moved next door to the larger bar area, complete with stage (and poles....you can see where this is going). So we stayed for the entertainment on offer for a round or two then headed back to the small bar to continue our games of pool for a while before catching the last show before we left, just as we were leaving the stage artist was collecting £1's for a final show she was putting on for a couple of guys who had just arrived and didn't want them to have wasted their time, a sign of good service.
Overall not a bad bar, with a surprising feature to boot, not sure if its a place I would frequent a lot unless it was on a large lads night of a special occasion (stag do etc.) However I would like to see what the live music is like when its on. Defiantly not a good idea to mess with the landlord, from the looks of things he's a dab hand of dealing with trouble!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.40	Yes	6.5	7.4	7.9 (8.3 with glasses)

The Richmond Park

2008-09-09T20:00:00.007+01:00

Another of the old granddad pubs where local lout families come to get drunk and create unnecessary drama for laughs.
Probably the biggest pub we've been to, The Richmond Park is divided into two sections. One side is for the old people slowly rotting away eating fish and chips, the other is a rowdy billiards room with a jukebox that loves to play Shirley Bassey on high volume.
If I was 50 years older I might contemplate coming back here for hopefully both my eyes and ears would have deteriorated to a point which makes sitting in here bearable. There was a Scottish Terrier laying on the floor trying to chew his own leg off, I knew how he felt.
Scampi Fries and a friendly barmaid were the positives, but that should come as standard!
-Alex

It’s a pub of two halves, a small area that has a huge amount of volume on the jukebox, 4 tables, one of them for pool. We started in the main area which looked like more of a eating area than a pub, after the first pint Alex was insisting that we head to the next door area, so we did, we place our order realised it was packed and we couldn’t hear each other, and then returned to where we were but a more ‘pubby’ part of the area. Was interested to see dogs were allowed to roam freely about the place, not usual for somewhere that serves food by hey ho, the dog was more interested in his own leg than anything the humans were eating. Alex decided to buy 4 bags of scampi fries this week but got very protective of them and would only let us have 1 bag between us, every time we went to open another he snatched them away with a look in his face which made me think he may be worried of any ‘consequences’ had he not taken them home with him instead of consume them, Odd you may think……I would agree!
- Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke/Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.65	Yeah yeah	5.6	5.0	6.2

The Queens Head

2008-09-02T20:00:00.005+01:00

Probably the most northern pub in Kingston, The Queens Head's is a quirky, traditional style pub. Plenty of places to sit and relax, dotted with strange drawings of Frankenstein and Dracula on the walls. In the furthest corner there's a separated private area with three suspiciously stained couches. We didn't sit there for long.
I've learnt Tuesday's are training days for bar staff and today was no exception. J20? Let me check... nope. Pineapple juice? Let me check... nope. It's not a mystery that Andrew is the oldest looking one out of the three of us, so it was quite jaw dropper when he was asked for ID for his pint of cider.
I was even more perplexed that by the end of the night we'd also manage to drink the pubs supply of both orange juice and Strongbow.
I don't want to carp on about pubs toilets, but I feel this needs to be mentioned. It is obvious these WC's have never seen the likes of bleach, in fact it probably hadn't seen anyone who works here. The tiles were falling off, the floor was soaked in urine and the smell made my throat sting.
This place was a lot better than some of the other places we've been (minus the gents), I wouldn't feel put off going back again, after all they did the holy grail of snacks - Scampi Fries!
-Alex

Interestingly different is a phrase that sums this place up, I was rather late to this one and as we had a 4th member of our party the others decided they would meet me in the bar, I walked in while on the phone to Alex asking where he was and no matter what I still couldn’t see him, until I realised they were in a small living room area at the back of the pub with 4 rather large sofa’s secluded from the rest of the pub. We decided to move and found two leather sofa’s in the main public bar which seemed to have misleading padding as when you sat on them you sank in quite far, comfy but lower than needed I think. I was quite surprised when Ollie was getting his round he came back minus my drink saying the barman wanted to see my ID, the same guy who served me not 60mins previously, it took Ollie about 3 attempts to convince me that he was not taking the piss and the barman looked kinda silly when I looked at him and double checked if he really wanted me to get my driving licence out, the guy was at least 5 years younger than I am……… and for the record, I may look the oldest of our group but Alex has me beat by a good few months!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, Orange)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.00	Yes, Scampi Fries!	6.9	6.7	6.5

The Oak

2008-08-26T20:00:00.005+01:00

Rumours had suggested that this pub may have a mandatory Kevlar dress code, but from what we experienced on this quiet Tuesday night no one died.
We were greeted by a few guys with oral flatulence playing pool as we walked in and a mixture of old people sitting on barstools. As it was quite a large pub we had pretty much half the pub to ourselves and headed over to the sofas.
I had a feeling the bar staff weren't quite on the ball when Oliver ordered a 'purple J2O' and ended up with a small bottle of wine.
The toilets were probably the worst we've seen, instead of cleaning them they just threw urinal cakes at them. This caused a terrible waft of disinfectant round the pub every time the door was opened. There was no hand soap but plenty of lime scale.
Everyone else left the pub after the football had finished so we were the last ones there come lock up. It was at this point we became aware that the inside cash machine was manually emptied on closing by the bar staff. Hmm...
-Alex

This place was very surreal on a few points as far as I am concerned, admittedly it was a very quiet Tuesday evening, which got even quieter after the football finished but I must say that I have never been in a bar that starts upturning chairs on tables in a ‘we’re closing’ method when there is still over half an hour before time is called at the bar, so yeah we were the only 3 people in the pub at this point but it not only blocked my view of the TV I was glancing at when I was ignoring Alex, one almost fell which, if it had, would have don’t some cranial damage to Ollie. Toilets….well…..i’ve smelt better in a back alley (not that I frequent such places).
- Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.95	Yes	6.8	6.1	7.0

The Gazebo

2008-08-19T20:00:00.016+01:00

I don't know what this place is trying to be.
Upon entering the downstairs entrance your greeted with hard wooden chairs and tables, the nothingness of space and dark lighting makes the place feel moody and depressing. When ordering our drinks the barmaid was stroppy, pulling faces when we asked for a J2O and then throwing the change into my hand. I suggested we check out upstairs.
Now the upper floor is a complete different kettle of fish, there's people smiling, chatting, comfy couches, relaxing lighting. When we went to get the next round the same barmaid was smiley and pleasant!! What the f...? It's like a different pub.
I don't know if they are trying to keep a 'traditional pub' downstairs and a 'cool bar' upstairs but seriously, it's a big fail from me. So this is why I only giving it half marks.
-Alex

This is defiantly a pub of two halves, just not the traditional split down the middle, it’s a one on top of the other affair. The bottom bar boasts large patio style doors to the riverside walk and a red cloth pool table but its not the most lively of places to go and the low ceiling makes it fairly dark inside.Head upstairs via an outside staircase and you’re in a totally different atmosphere, much brighter, soft furnishings and a balcony seating area is defiantly more the place to go. This is a Samuel Smiths bar so no mainline alcohol which made for an interesting round but otherwise the top floor is defiantly a place to go in the summer, can’t see it doing that great in the winter.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (JD & Coke, Pineapple juice)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£5.62	Yes	5.0	7.0	7.2

Old Orleans

2008-08-12T20:00:00.012+01:00

The USP of tonight's bar was good old cleavage.
Looking around, I got to know people instantly by the way they checked out the barmaids. There's the type who will take a sly glance when they think no ones watching, the other that stares, locked like a man possessed. Oh and then there's us, who stupidly grin at each other like prats before the other catches on.
This place is quite honestly priced as long as you keep away from the cocktails. Even when spending £11 on a pitcher you'll be lucky to get 3.5 short glasses and then end up spilling half of it when the ice comes tumbling out (well done Andrew).
The layout is cool, although stay away from those tanned couches. They appear to have had better days and are currently looking like something you'd find in Rab C. Nesbitt's garden.
The bar is a popular one for the student crowd and doesn't have any annoying music pumping out like the other local bars.
-Alex

In the past I have only ever been here for a Christmas party, a birthday party and a meal with some mates on another birthday..... oh and some pre TGI’s for another birthday..... long story short, all of these were on a Saturday night and all but one were during the Xmas period so its has always been, well, heaving is the only word that comes close! This evening there were only about 5 small groups of people in and the restraint was deserted!
We approached the bar and after looking around while waiting to be served I noticed Alex and Ollie whispering to each other and giggling, after a short while I was up to speed and they were fixated by what the bar staff seemed to be showing off (see Alex’s review). We were pleasantly surprised at the cost of the round and looking at the drinks menu you could quite happily get a round of 3 alcoholic drinks for less that £6, something that I think would give the Kelly Arms a run for its money, however as our default order has not changed I was destined to get the bottle of Bulmer’s as it was the only Cider drink on over at a cost of over £4 for a bottle, it over doubled the cost of the other two drinks, had I gone for, say, a bottle of Corona or Budweiser, I'm fairly certain we’d be on a round less than £6.although it was very quiet it looked like only one barmaid was on duty meaning there was always a wait to be served as she also seemed to be on glass collection. Even though its mid-week, they really should have had a second member of bar staff on.
Atmosphere was pretty good and cocktails we sampled were not too bad though quantities for your money are questionable, probably why the standard drinks are so cheap that they make their money on the cocktails. Overall a pleasant place, would quite happily return for a mid-week drink, or weekend one!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.40	A stupid cardboard thimble of nuts	7.7	8.1	7.0

The Kingston Tup

2008-07-29T20:00:00.008+01:00

After hearing some unsavouries about this place, I wasn't looking forward to spending much time in tonight's drinking hole.
It actually turned out to be rather satisfactory. The pub had recently been completely refurbished and actually looked quite presentable. A pool table, games machine and table football were amongst the new social pleasantries.
Oddly the only person working here was a very young barmaid, which, I'd say is rather risky in Kingston.
Upon closing, we watched her roll in a humongous barrel from outside. No idea why, I can't imagine anyone wanting to steal it.
-Alex

There was some apprehension with some of our party when this place came up onto the list, but it was all based on hearsay and once we entered the pub we were pleasantly surprised. We got served almost immediately as the place was very empty, as most places probably would be at half 7 on a Tuesday evening. The furnishing looked quite new and was very clean yet basic, as if the place had recently had been refurbished. Overall a pleasant chilled out evening was had by all, Ollie and I even sampled their absinthe....again....why does it always have to be an aniseed flavoured alcohol shot......hold on, I think I ordered it this time as well, defiantly remember the barmaid thinking we were a few marbles short of a full set when I asked after it, never mind, onto the next pub!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£9.30	Yes	7.0	7.7	7.3

Woody's

2008-07-22T20:00:00.015+01:00

Wandering down by the river, we noticed the bar next to The Ram that had been closed for a few months had just re-opened.
This is how I believe it went down. A guy called Woody has a dream, a dream to open his own bar. He'll put lots of trendy things in it, paint all the walls and floors white, and even have a selection of teas, coffees and sweets.
Sounds good doesn't it? Err, in his head it may of. You see, the image(?) doesn't quite work. Woody spent his life savings and buying lots of big old oak chairs/tables and fish-eye mirrors, but then had no money left for the the other few tables he needed, so he threw in some plastic McDonald's seats. The badly painted wooden white floor speaks for itself, and he complete forgot some kind of theme. Stay outside, or go to Bar Ha Ha a few doors down.
Am I snob? Possibly.
-Alex

This venue was not the next one on our list but we fancied a riverside location so we headed down to see what we haven't yet seen, to notice this place was now opened to our surprise as it had been boarded up on every trip riverside so far. So, to save walking any further we decided to test it out.
The outside of the bar had many picnic benches and looked very busy form the outside, upon entering he place was deserted, in all honesty this could be due to the warm evening, or the fact the smell of paint was still thick in the air. Décor was quite....unique would be the best word, not quite seen anything so random especially when it come to seating but its one of those things that will either be a hit or a flop, I'm not ready to commit to either just yet. Maybe wait till the paint has dried and re-visit in the cooler months and see how its going, though we don't officially re-visit for the purposes of this site, i would like to give it another go down the line.
The rest of the night was quite uneventful apart form the looks on the others faces when Ollie presented me with ‘my’ bottle of absinthe 80% proof which i (after some peer pressure) decided to take a swig, and was the only one out of the three of us to manage about ¼ of a miniature bottle without spitting it out. Things might have got a little blurry shortly after but that's another matter!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.30	Pistachios or monkey nuts in a glass	6.7	7.0	5.0

The Kelly Arms

2008-07-15T20:00:00.010+01:00

Amazingly good value and very traditional, The Kelly Arms was a pleasant surprise after what we had experienced a short distance down the road at The Duke of Buckingham. Situated in a residential area, it was pretty quiet with only one other customer when we arrived. Instead of a jukebox, a TV was in the corner playing the Kevin Costner film - No Way Out. I didn't understand the plot, it just involved a murder and a lot of running away.
On the placard outside the pub was advertising they had a Nintendo Wii. This is all good, except when they decide to list every Wii Sports game as if it were separate. The fact is it's one game, and that's the one they give you free. Don't try it.
If I lived local I'd be a regular here, good stuff.
-Alex

This place looked very quiet on the outside, and on the inside....nothing was too different, TV was on showing Star Trek when we arrived and all of one other customer was in the bar. We places our order and when we were asked for the money we looked at each other thinking he must have missed one of the drinks off the tab but no, sure enough this is by far the cheapest rounds we have had yet, by at least £1.30, something I cant see being beaten but we are not even halfway through our mission at this point.
We took our drinks outside as it was a nice evening and the area was also quiet and very pleasant, outdoor seating looked new though on the slightly small side, max 4 people to a bench. It didn't get much busier over the course of the evening, maybe 3 or four others came and went. Would probably come here again if I happened to be in that part of Kingston again! (P.S, Don't listen to Alex, Wii Sports is a good game, just because it comes with the console doesn't mean its not good for hours of entertainment with friends, we just didn't try it this evening!)
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, Pineapple)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£6.30	Yes	8.0	7.8	8.2

The Honest Cabbage

2008-07-01T20:00:00.008+01:00

Our first impressions of this daft named pub wasn't particularly good, I'm putting that down to the area (it's based in the middle of Fairfield’s housing estate). Some drunken old louts were by the front door making a nuisance to anything that walked passed (including a 16 year old girl).
After dodging them we got to the bar and ordered the usual. Unfortunately the barman opened a wrong bottle, we got a strong impression he was not willing to exchange it for what we asked. Humph.
Sitting outside, it was worse than that at The Ram. Damaged tables on concrete slabs covered in weeds, with a bin in the corner – that pretty much sums it up.
Being the only ones left, we eventually headed inside. It was quite agreeable actually, with comfy seats, good music, TV and a pleasant atmosphere. Nothing to complain about if you stay indoors :)
-Alex

We were initially happy that this weeks venue had a beer 'garden' but that was a loose term for the area, more of a beer yard as there was no vegetation to be seen. Prices were about average though the bartender could use some help deciphering the difference between the flavours of J2O on offer.
After a couple of rounds the temperature dropped and we decided to head inside and although it was empty apart from a group of guys in the corner, the atmosphere was held quite well and we found a comfortable table by the bar and continued till last orders.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.40	Nobby's Nuts	6.9	7.0	6.5

The Grey Horse

2008-06-24T20:30:00.010+01:00

Tuesday's must be some kind of 'open talent night' round the back. When anyone swung the door open to get to the bar, we were showered in either very bad beat boxing, a vocally challenged guitar player or someone who knew only the chord of C on a piano.
To be fair they do have some good nights on at the Grey Horse, it's just wasn't happening when we were there.
It was reasonably priced and I noticed they sold real ale.
-Alex

After the pleasant surprise of the round price (especially after just leaving Isha, the look on Alex's face was a classic) we looked about for seats and found....all of them totally empty, for the most part we were the only customers in the main bar. The next room had a staged area and what appeared to be an open mic night. Only ventured in there to use the facilities, and getting slightly confused by coming across the first door with a ladies symbol and then the second door .....also with a ladies symbol, only after asking at the bar was I told there was a third door, right in the corner, not so obvious in a darkened room.
This place does potentially hold a good atmosphere and there was plenty of evidence of previous and upcoming nights that I'm sure would be quite a hit, we even considered coming back the following Sunday for a comedy night with some recognisable names.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.85	Yes	6.0	6.3	5.6

Isha

2008-06-24T20:00:00.015+01:00

This place charged us more per round than anywhere else we'd been. It wasn't helped by the unpleasantness of sitting exposed to Kingston's main one-way system either.
Apart from us, the only people there were a group of excitable goggle-eyed middle aged men playing table football, overlooked by the barmaid on a stool.
The internals looked OK, but at this price... hell, we left after one round.
-Alex

Not much to say really, when we got there it was very quiet apart from the table football competition looking event happening and after the first round we decided to call it a day and head to the next on the list which was handily just across the road. Alex was so depressed for getting the first round in he wanted to jump out the window but when Ollie and I went though the door he calmed down and followed. This is more of a place to go after the pub as its usually open till 1 or 2!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Magners, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£10.30	Didn't wait to find out	3.5	3.0	3.0

The Ram

2008-06-10T20:00:00.008+01:00

Find table outside in the evening sun. Get drinks in. Look around and notice strange students wearing plastic happy meal sunglasses. An hour later they are replaced by brash larger louts with too much testosterone and beer for their bodies to cope with. Nice entertainer man, he say come inside for quiz, we say yes.
We play quiz, we fail at quiz (by considerable margin). Oliver and I hide when results are read, seven other teams point and laugh at Andrew thinking he's on his own.
Staff were friendly enough, although without the quiz, the pub would have been quite blasé.
Oh and although it's by the river, the rear 'garden' is pathetic concrete strip.
-Alex

The outside seating area almost matches the sq/footage of the inside of the pub, its a shame its so far away from the bar itself to make getting a refill of your drinks something less than a chore for the guy who got the short straw! Beer garden would be nice on a summers weekend but for an evening situation, if you're facing the wrong direction you will have the sun in your eyes till it hides behind the trees.
I like Pub Quiz's, even if we did loose quite spectacularily i think the face that the quiz existed was a major plus for this venue.

-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.75	Yes	7.3	7.8	7.2

The Fighting Cocks

2008-05-20T20:00:00.010+01:00

Quite a punky grungy type of pub, the place where people not only have studs in their ears but in their belts and lips too. If you ask their favourite colour they always say "black", which is the wrong answer.
The place is laid out alright, there's a room off from the bar that is so small in that if you saw someone else sitting in there, you'd be uncomfortably invading their space. We sat in the main bar area.
Not sure what you call that music where heavy metal is accompanied by the sounds of a gurgling tortured man but that was on in the background.
But the weirdest thing, for just £2 you can buy a 'Bacon Vodka Shot'. Yes that's right - shaved meaty goodness mixed with alcohol. One can only assume it's some kind of sick Muslim joke.
Safe, no attitude bar. Respec.
-Alex

This place has always been intriguing to me from the looks of the outside, probably one of the few places in Kingston that dares to be different and I think its carried off quite well. The bar obviously has its regulars as when we walked in most of the barstools were occupied. After placing our usual order we found a free table by the door. The general atmosphere was fairly tame everyone there seemed to be part of a small group and kept to themselves tho things did generally pick up as the evening went on. After a minor spillage, went to ask the barman for a few paper towels to which he decided to come to that table a wipe the whole thing down instead, not bad service at all! Overall a good place even if its not quite up my street I could happily spend an evening there with a group of mates with no fuss.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Scrumpy Jack, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.35	Yes	7.9	7.5	7.0

The Boaters Inn

2008-05-13T20:00:00.013+01:00

As English weather goes, we thought it could be the last chance to sit outside in the sunshine for a while. What we were not prepared for was the swarms of midges that infested the waters edge. Even when I was inside ordering drinks I'm sure I was still spitting flies out in the bartenders face (which would explain why he couldn't get the top off my bottle of beer).
This is a first right, we ordered the three of our usuals, they didn't have any of them. Perhaps they heard of this blog (harhar) and tried to avoid the tarnishing drivel - not happening guys, there is no escape.
But I digress, none of this make any difference to my approval rating. After moving inside away from the flies it was chilled out, loved the atmosphere, loved the beer. I'm coming back, but this time I'll be wearing one of those sexy hats with corks.
-Alex

We decided on another riverside location this week as it looked like a nice evening. We arrived to find the pub in a park type area giving it a rather rural setting for Kingston, also this is one of the farthest out of Kingston pubs we have visited yet (2nd only to Duke of Buckingham which was miles out). The rural setting and riverside location did mean there was large amount of flies lurking about the entrance, and the outside seating area, but we didn’t have to worry too long about that as the temperature really dropped after round 1 and we went back inside. Surprisingly not one of our usual order was available from the bar meaning some quick thinking was in order for some of us and what exact soft drink to have was more of a decision for Ollie, 3 types of fruit juice and all the standard soft drinks made for quite a selection after there not being J2O in stock.
The bar had a nice atmosphere about it, staff were friendly and seemed to be making small talk with some of the other customers.
Apart fomr that it was a fairly non-eventful evening, its defiantly one of those places for a chilled out weekend afternoon cathing up with mates, or possible a pre-night-out place, somewhere to get the evening going.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Bulmers, Budwiser Budvar, Coke)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£9.10	Yes	8.1	7.7	5.5 (the guy's an idiot)

Bishop Out of Residence

2008-05-06T20:00:00.016+01:00

Being here on previous summers told us we wouldn't have to look hard to see a few Chav's metamorphosing, it's that age where they slowly crawl out of their shell suits and into adulthood.
The staff were a bit weird, the barman had long fuzzy blonde hair and he had the face of nightmares when looking across at the £10 note I was holding, it was like he'd been chosen to head Mensa. I gave him the exact change to stop him coming out in a rash. Another guy was just employed to stack the outside tables and chairs, which was pointless because people were unstacking them again when he turned his back.
There was one disturbing bit where some skinny, leathery skinned, 50ish, drunk bloke came up and plopped himself down on a table of girls and proceeded to slur and slobber over their table. Obvious to say their tables were being stacked two minutes later.
But don't get me wrong, it's a nice bar location and décor wise. It has all the drinks/snacks you could want.
-Alex

This bar is one that we have frequented many times in the past and admittedly is a favourite of our when it comes to riverside drinking. Being one of the first evenings of a warm nature we decided to re-visit the list of bars we were waiting for warmer weather and this happened to be the first one.
Overall the level of trade was quite high for an early week session, however having the outside seating was proving to be popular, managed to get our drinks and find a table to accommodate us in the outside area. Lightweight chairs were slightly rickety but dint feel like they were going to collapse on us (or me). Price of the round does reflect the riverside location so while it is one of the few to break the £9 barrier for a round, it was worth it.
The evening itself went very wekk, Ollie was at the end of his course so decided to get the shots in (something that doesn’t usually happen on these tests as most of us are working the next day) unfortunately the shots were Absinthe, 55% proof which is apparently a ‘weaker strength version’, oh yes, it was also a double, after this and the aftershock later on in the evening we were even considering visiting Oceana but as the lifts home were looking less likely and realising the commitments we had the next day we decided maybe some other time.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£9.10	Yes	7.5	8.3	7.0

The Duke of Buckingham

2008-04-29T20:00:00.014+01:00

This is a granddad pub if I've ever been to one. It was so dull and dingy - at least we know where the local musty old men go.
Even before we got to the pub we had people peering out from behind the curtains in the street. We opened the door and stumbled into a games room, the local weirdo's put their drinks down and stared, so we promptly backed away and found another entrance.
The landlord was seriously fleshy, he kept a gun above the bar in one display case and some bath taps in another. He spent a lot of his time listening to someone shouting on his phone.
There was also a strange rumbling sensation coming from the floor throughout the pub, probably the landlords gut.
-Alex

Can't really say much about this place, the evening was fairly uneventful. very quiet, most the poeple there when we arrived were the for the football match on tv and they left shortly after it finished. Being so far out of Kingston town centre its not really going to attract much in the way of 'passing trade'.
Funky doors on entry being curved and all but initially went through the 'Public Bar' one to end up in the games room and three people staring at us wondering who these people were who had the nerve to interrupt them, a quick backtrack and into the door to the main bar proved to be to right course of action. Overall a fairly dull place to go in my opinion.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.75	Salted peanuts	4.4	4.5	6.0

The Cocoanut

2008-04-22T20:00:00.022+01:00

This place was next to the art campus of the Uni, so we were expecting quite a young crowd.
First thing to notice was it had very little lighting. If it wasn't for the candles (barmaid made a point of saying it was for 'ambience') you'd only be able to see the emergency exits and a pool table. Weird thing was all the proper ceiling lights had no bulbs in, the electricity bill must have been very high or someone had stolen them to make an arty sculpture.
We first propped ourselves up on some wobbly barstools because the only other free place to sit was a red couch with a broken hole in the middle. Andrew said it was too low to sit on and he'd never be able to get up again.
Finally a table became free by the window and we settled there. In the corner there were two standing "DJ's" wearing, for an unknown reason, butchers hats. They played a mixture of film themes, dramatic instrumental, house and cheesy music. They didn't mix anything and I didn't understand why it took two of them to change a CD.
The toilets must have been part of a 'ghetto art project' as they were covered in graffiti. I'd expect people who work there have kidney problems through fear of going in there.
Around 10pm it hotted up and some very fine ladies made the place look a whole lot better.
There was also a weird old man in an armchair who lived across the street who was staring at me through his living room window the whole bloody time, even when it got dark he didn't shut his curtains. I refused to turn round and look because that is exactly what he would have wanted.
-Alex

Defiantly a student pub being staggering distance from a campus and a halls of residence. The prices also reflected the target student audience as did the variety of pick’n’mix style sweets behind the bar. Also a sculpture hanging from the ceiling of Crush (the surfer dude turtle from Finding Nemo) made entirely out of hubcaps, probably from the local art campus. After a brief struggle with the thumb latch on the door to open it we walked in to find it looking quite dark, due to some ‘mood lighting being provided by a lone candle on each table. Even though the place was fairly empty when we got there we could not locate a table and so sat at the bar but fortunately a table by the window vacated and was quickly re-located to. Shortly after re-location we realised Alex had a secret admirer in the form of an elderly gentleman in a house across the road just staring out of his living room window towards Alex for the most part of the evening, this freaked him out so naturally we found this quite amusing!
Music was being supplied by two guys on a small mixer, but not much mixing, more one track after another, quite a random selection as well, which was quite good but when the place was empty it could have been slightly lower in volume so we didn’t have to raise voices to talk (and then shout out something during the lull between tracks, nearly happened a few times). Generally the evening was pretty uneventful, started with very few patrons however business did pick up by about 10 which had a positive effect on the atmosphere and by the time last orders came about it was probably the busiest a place as got since we started our mission.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, Orange)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.60	Pork scratchings or Hula Hoops	8.0	7.4	8.0

Cricketers

2008-04-15T20:00:00.032+01:00

Wow where to begin. We hadn't even got to the bar and a chubby, rough looking middle-aged woman approaches us. She asks "Can you do me a favour?, I've got money but they are not taking cards, will you buy me a drink?".
We looked at each other, "Err... no". Then she leaves out the front door and shouts to all her mates who were waiting outside "Come on we're wasting our time lets go". Cheeky bint.
Then a little later some lout comes in who looks completely under-age and tries to get served, finds he can't. He comes back later with another yob who can't get him served either. The little shit then proceeds to take a swing at the barman! Wonderful.
The music pumping out of the jukebox was a mixture of hip-hop, reggae and choir. No one else noticed but I could smell a hint of dog in the air. There was also a Viagra machine in the toilet. This place was rough but how bad is it if people get their prescription from a bog rather than a doctor?
It was so bad even Andrew had to be driven to the bus stop afterwards to avoid the hoodlums.
Shit hole.
-Alex

I have tried to be open minded with my review on this place as I think the evening we experienced did not do the place justice. Overall I think this place has good potential for a nice evening apart from the woman scrounging drinks off strangers, the guy who thought that if you argue long enough and try to hit the guy behind the bar, they might change their mind on an ID policy and give him a drink (even when his mate got refused to buy a drink for him he was even more upset when he mate was willing to settle for ‘just a coke’), oh and the ‘phantom dog smell’ that only Alex could detect, it wasn’t all that bad. This place had a ‘proper’ pub feel to it, and had obviously been there for years. I would say that they should probably not have a jukebox set on random should really be stocked with a lot more decent music and a lot less b-side stuff as it was going from one extreme to another and only about 2 tracks were recognised all evening. Bar staff seemed friendly when not fending off ID-less punters and seating was well spaced, comfortable and tables were even and level as tested when Alex spilled his bottle of beer and even after 25 minutes of chatting none of the spillage had made it to the floor, Alex did mop up before leaving. I reckon if we were to head back there again the overall experience might rate a lot higher.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.70	Proper KP nuts and crisps	3.9	5.9	4.5

Barcadia

2008-04-08T20:00:00.012+01:00

A very holiday feeling bar with it's own DJ playing funky house until 1:30am, not too loud mind. Oliver felt sorry for him because at one point we were the only ones he was playing to.
When we first arrived we were the only guys in there and there were two other pairs of girls, Oliver said this must be a gay bar and went red and uncomfortable.
The barmaid lied to us, she said they don't do food but I saw peanuts on the menu for £1.50, when confronted with this she went off and came back saying they'd ran out. Change your tune why don't you. The barman had very strange hair, perhaps it was a bet or something but it looked like a woman's wig.
-Alex

I missed this one... no comment!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£4.70	I hate liars.	7.8	MIA	8.0

Bar Ha Ha

2008-04-01T20:00:00.010+01:00

Lot's of people in their late twenties. The comfy seats behind the bar where we sat were occupied by mainly couples pushing the boundaries of public decency. Quite off putting having that face eating going on in the corner of your eye. We were the last ones to leave, I wanted to stay until they kicked us out but Andrew didn't have the nerve.
Stupid name for a bar.
-Alex

This riverside bar is ideally located for a good view of the river with massive floor-ceiling windows allowing views form all round the bar. Over 21’s policy means for a more adult atmosphere but still aimed at the younger end of the spectrum as most other customers were in their 20’s and 30’s. Couches and comfy chairs available throughout as well as wooden barstools so a good range of seating choice, we settled for the chairs on the upper level which gave a nice overall view of the whole bar, also a more secluded place for the couples who frequented the place we discovered. This also allowed us a view form the other side of the service bar. Music was quiet background kind of stuff and a few plasma TV’s were showing Sky news. Overall quite a leisurely atmosphere giving a nice place to sit down and have a chat .
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.70	"Handmade" crisps and some ugly things that look like tumours	7.6	7.5	8.0

The Albion

2008-03-25T20:00:00.013Z

A proper pub.
We walked in, got the drinks and went to sit down on some red leather sofa's in the corner. Before we knew it the pub landlord pushed in, sat down and switched on the sport on the giant screen without saying a word (he was a very fat bloke and had a strange football sized blob on his hip). Oliver looked down on him stunned for a second but we moved to a table which had annoying wooden post sticking out of it so you couldn't see the anyone opposite you.
Nice looked after place, no riff raff, and very cheap. They got the dog out to tell you it was time to close though.
-Alex

Defiantly one of those ‘proper’ pubs as in your traditional, what you think of when you hear the word ‘pub’ type deals. The place was very quiet when we arrived, and stayed that way for most the night, after we ordered our drinks we had took some time deciding where to sit after changing minds form sitting at a table at the back we headed to the comfortable looking sofa’s to have the landlord take them over by himself (both of them) after it was obvious we were heading for them so we went for a barstool height table, which had another mini-table on top weirdly (but pleasantly) obstructing the view to Alex who was opposite me. After the first round we relocated to a normal height table. Overall place had a friendly atmosphere everyone else there seemed to be a regular and knew the staff.
- Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£7.80	Yes	7.0	6.8	7.0

Acorn 20

2008-03-18T20:00:00.012Z

Nice pub/bar, very new, no chewing gum on the floor (yet). Chilli nuts came in a nice bowl and they had screens playing Men in Black on each table. That was ok until the sport turned on and we had cover the screen with a menu.
The J2O's were warm because the "fridge had broken", although we saw plenty of other working fridges behind the bar.
They also haven't lost some of the Artful Dodger regulars either, they were either drunk or had speech impediments.
-Alex

This was defiantly one of the better modern style places we have been to so far, recently refurbished everything had yet to be worn in and so a very clean looking place all round. Drinks were adequately priced however the soft drinks fridge was cold, we did wonder after we were obviously there for a while that they couldn’t move some of Ollie’s J2O’s into a working fridge as opposed to keeping them next to a heat source of some kind. TV’s on walls at the tables linked to SKY and a DVD player, kept getting distracted by MIB, even looking away from the table some of us could still se it on the other side of the bar, but focused more on conversation after that finished and the football came on (yes were not really big footie fans).Snacks sold by the bowl which is a different touch, barmaid was friendly tho the seats we were on did appear to have an uncomfortable plank of wood (if sat on) to separate one side to another.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.30	Crisps / Chilli Nuts	7.4	7.7	8.0

O'Neill's

2008-03-04T20:00:00.015Z

One of the big chains, made to feel like a nice local though.
Hard to say anything bad about this pub, weird location though. As it's next to the Works, there was some teenage night going on and the streets were full of kids wanting to look sexy being picked up by their parents.
An attractive table service was included.
-Alex

I’ll admit now I might be biased but this is because I have always liked O’neils pubs, and this one is not exception. After getting our order at the bar we didn’t have to look far to find a free table by the window. After a while the barmaid was collecting our empties and offered us a table service to order another round, we liked this as it meant we did not have to move to get more drinks and the barmaids timing on the 3rd round was also spot on, maybe she was keeping an eye on us at it wasn’t a very busy evening or maybe it was just coincidence, either way we were not complaining.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.40	Yes	8.6	9.1	8.0

The Druid's Head

2008-02-19T20:00:00.019Z

Massive pub, both upstairs and downstairs. Shame we went on a day when there was football being played, some kids upstairs got way too excited and started shouting and stamping their feet like they lived in Ethiopia and the UN had just flown over with a food drop.
Toilets were dodgy, unidentified floating objects.
-Alex

The evening we visited this place it was very busy due to the football being shown on the big screen upstairs and the smaller ones on the downstairs level. Unfortunately this meant that when we did eventually find a table, only 2 chairs were there forcing two of us to stand (we had a guest with us this evening) after a while Ollie and I spied another table with a few chairs round it so relocated there, unfortunately in close proximity to the door meant a regular cold draft every time someone entered or left. Overall experience was not great due to noise form supporters and the draft, but then if you don’t want noise you wont got to a bar showing sports intentionally, just happened to be next on our list. I reckon another night would have been a more positive experience.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£?	Yes	5.5	6.2	6.0

The Kingston Mill

2008-02-05T20:00:00.011Z

One of the main student hangouts. They were asking if we had a regulars card, which took some of the price off. That says to me they overcharge you if you don't have one.
There was a Rowing Association party going on in the corner, one guy had a good rhyme about 'having it away' with dead people.
Friendly service, but quite rowdy atmosphere.
-Alex

This place I found to be quite good, defiantly one for the students and being an ex-Kingston student I was quite annoyed that I had never frequented this place during my student days as it does seem to have a fun atmosphere. There was a Uni rowing club having a social event near to where we were sitting and everyone seemed to be in high spirits which had a positive effect to the atmosphere, especially liked the recital of the limerick ‘Jack the Necrophiliac’. Overall look to the place was quite dark with different lighting in the various sections, some areas cramped and other seemed quite spacious with cubby holes her and there. I also noticed a line on the wall by the bar registering the lowest (and quite impressive) Limbo score at a previous bar event.
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Budwiser, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£8.60	Yes	7.2	7.6	8.0

The Slug and Lettuce

2008-01-29T20:00:00.011Z

Pretty average bar. Andrew said we couldn't sit at the top because the tables were only for if you were eating. He was wrong, but we should have listened. The table felt as clean as Oceana's cheesy room floor after someone chucked up a reconstituted hotdog up on it.
Drinks were expensive, and they were damn keen to get us out come closing.
-Alex

The main appeal of this bar is the near-riverside location, however although the place is a fair size the area around the main door is at the narrowest point of the bar, yet also the busiest. We went on a not too busy evening and still had to sidestep past a few people to get to place an order. There was a seating section on a raised lever where we decided to go and sit, looked like it was more of a dining area and to be honest could have been a bit cleaner. The place was well lit, and seating was fairly comfortable but this did not really justify the larger than average bar bill incurred. We plan to keep the orders similar at all the places we review to keep the ratings accurate and so far this is the only one to pass the £10 barrier, in fact the only one that has reached higher than £9!
-Andrew

Drinks Price (Strongbow, Dbl JD & Coke, J2O)	Snacks	Alex's Score	Andrew's Score	Oliver's Score
£10.50	Yes	5.0	6.0	7.0